Hooray for Summer!

School’s out, the weather is warm, and your kids are ready to play. One of the most exciting things about summer is the freedom and luxury to focus on doing fun things all day long, or to do absolutely nothing.

But, as most parents of school-age children know, after only a few weeks of summer vacation, the thrill of “doing nothing” has worn off, and kids are starting to get bored. Chances are that simply telling them to “find something to do” isn’t working anymore, and they are becoming more demanding of your time and attention.

Think of this as a good thing rather than an annoyance! Instead of getting worried about how to structure their time and keep them occupied until the beginning of September (maybe signing them up for summer camp doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anymore?), think of this as an opportunity for both you and your children to have fun, play, and laugh together. After all, if you can’t find the time to play with them during the summer, when will you ever find the time during the rest of the busy year?

As an adult, you may have forgotten how to really play with your child. Our days are filled with stress, work, and other responsibilities, and we often don’t have much room in our lives for fun and games. We may be tired and easily bored when we try to play with our children. Some parents may even wonder why they should get involved when their children play well on their own (which gives parents a much-needed break – why interfere with that?)

The best reason to get involved is that play is children's main way of communicating - they show us their feelings and experiences through play much more often than through talking. We need to hear what they have to say, and playing with them is the best way to listen. In fact, there are a number of good reasons to spend more time playing with your kids:

	REASONS TO PLAY
	Play is a powerful way to build and maintain a deep emotional bond between parent and child.
	Play strengthens family unity, and helps to create a positive and safe home environment.
	Play can ease the stress of parenting, and make it more fun.
	Play reduces destructive behavior in children, and also reduces TV and video-game addiction.
	Play allows parents to enter their child's world, and to better understand what's on a child's mind.

Fortunately, any parent can learn to be more playful, and to connect with children in a fun way. Dr. Larry Cohen, a psychologist specializing in children's play, suggests the following simple ways to put fun and play back into your family:

1. Join Children in Their World - this means getting down on the floor, literally, where children usually play (or, for older children, joining them at the mall, video arcade, computer, or try listening to their music). Children need us to occasionally play the games they like to play, the way they want to play them. It let's them know that we are truly interested in them and their world. Once we let go of goal-oriented, purposeful activity, we enter the world of play. Think of your participation in your child’s play not as a way to teach or model anything, but rather as a way of sharing their excitement and pleasure.

Suggestion to try this summer: Once a day, for 10-15 minutes, try to simply join your child's play, without asking questions, making suggestions, taking over, or trying to teach your child anything. Try to just observe what your child is doing, and make positive comments about what you see. Comments such as, “Wow, that’s a really big fort you built” or “Looks like you are getting better and better at this video game” will let your child know that you are paying attention to them, and they get a chance to be the “expert” and show you what they are doing.

2. Giggling - Laughing together is one of the best ways to create playfulness in your family. Children love it when adults are goofy and silly. Talk in a funny voice, make funny faces, tell jokes. Whatever makes your child giggle, do it again and again. Shared laughter strengthens the bonds of family and friendship. Laughter also eases tension, conflict, and hostility, and helps create an environment that feels safe. Thus, laughter is much more than just entertainment for kids; it can be a great stress relief for parents!

Suggestion to try this summer: Spend some time sitting around with your children reading joke books to each other, look at the comics together, or tell funny stories with a goofy voice. As long as you stay away from put-down humor, laugh at anything silly and just have a good time.

3. Active Physical Play - this is not just for boys and dads! Girls and moms also need, and often greatly enjoy, active physical play, such as chasing each other, playful wrestling and roughhousing, climbing, dancing, etc. Remember to keep it fun, not competitive, and let your child win often.

Suggestion to try this summer: Rather than just watching your child on the playground, at the beach, or in the pool, decide to join them in their activity. You might even get some much-needed physical exercise yourself! On a personal note, the reason I started a regular running program years ago was so that I could have enough endurance to chase my children around without getting out of breath. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who is having more fun when we are running through the park, me or them. And that’s the whole point!